What To Do If Your Child Is Sexually Assaulted or You Suspect Abuse?
Many times parents, grandparents, school officials, family, and friends are confronted with a situation, such as child
sexual assault and are not sure how to handle it. Child Sexual assault happens to children from ages 0-18. It is most
often family members or acquaintances, someone the child knows. Sexual abuse can include, fondling, touching,
kissing, inappropriate gestures, pornography with the child, to sexual assault. While it is defined by judges, lawyers, city
and school officials differently, the effects of child sexual assault remain the same, devastating to the child, with life long
consequences. If you suspect your child is being abused or sexually assaulted, we are listing a few helpful hints and
guidelines to guide you.
- Children will explore their bodies and this is normal. It is not normal when their behavior is not in content to how
they typically behave.
- If they become more aggressive
- become unable to focus(and have other sexual assault signs)
- burst into tears for no reason
- are inappropriately touching their dolls or animals
- begin to hurt animals
- may become, shy, withdrawn, or have mood swings
- depressed
- began using drugs
- become promiscuous
- start bed wetting
- fearful of a certain adult, places, or things
- nightmares
- unexplained bruises or rashes
If you suspect a child has been sexually assaulted you need to contact authorities. You have to consider the best
interest of the child,not the perpetrators social standing, parental basis, or dismissing it because it isn't happening to
you. If they can hurt this child, they can hurt your children, grandchildren, or the children of the people you love. Make
the call to your local Child Protective Services and/or police department at 911 or
- Child Abuse Hotline is 1-800-25ABUSE
- Webster Parish Child Protective services (318)371-3004
- Springhill, La. Police Dept. (318)539-2511
- Benton, La. Police Dept. (318)965-0579
- Bossier City Police Dept.(318)741-8611
- Minden Police Dept (318)377-1212
- Shreveport Police Dept.(318)873-2583
Always remember, it is not the child's fault. Even if a teen is promiscuous, adults must be responsible adults
and dismiss themselves from the situation; or they will be held accountable.
WARNINGS SIGNS OF AN ABUSIVE PARTNER
1) Does she apologize for his behavior and makes excuses for him?
2) Is she losing interest in activities that she used to enjoy?
3) Has she stopped seeing friends and family members and become more isolated?
4) When your daughter and her boyfriend are together, does he call her names and put her down in front of other
people? Does she seem intimidated by him?
5) Does her boyfriend act extremely jealous of others who pay attention to her, especially other guys?
6) Does he think or tell your daughter that you don't like him?
7) Does he control her behavior, check up on her constantly, and call and text her, demanding to know who she has
been with? Does he control where she goes, what she wears and who she sees?
8) Does she casually mention his violent behavior, but laugh it off as a joke?
9) Does she often have unexplained injuries or offer explanations that don't make sense?
10) Have you seen him violently lose his temper, striking or breaking objects? Has he destroyed her property?
11) Does he criticize her parenting and threaten to take away or hurt her children?
12) Has he threatened her life?
If you answered yes to even one of these questions, your daughter may be in an abusive relationship.
For support and more information please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or at
TTY 1-800-787-3224.
Go through the following checklist to find out whether your relationship is unhealthy and could be
dangerous:
Does your partner:
Isolate you from friends, family members or supporters?
Embarrass you with put-downs?
Look or act in ways that scare you?
Control what you do or who you see or talk to?
Manipulate you with control of money?
Dominate all decisions?
Criticize your parenting and threaten to take away or hurt your children?
Prevent you from working or attending school?
Deny or downplay abuse or try to blame you for “provoking” it?
Destroy your property?
Intimidate you with guns, knives or other weapons?
Shove you, slap you, choke you or hit you?
Force you to drop charges?
Threaten to commit suicide?
Threaten to kill you?
If you answered yes to even one of these warning signs, you may be in an abusive relationship. For support and more
information please call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-SAFE (7233) or at TTY (800) 787-3224.
Planning a safe exit from an abusive relationship is a necessary and important step before breaking the
ties with your partner. The National Domestic Violence Hotline suggests following the these steps to
improve your chances of leaving safely.
• Know the phone number to your local battered woman's shelter.
• Let trusted family member, friend, coworker or neighbors know your situation. Develop a plan for when you need
help; code words you can text if in trouble, a visual signal like a porch light: on equals no danger, off equals trouble.
• If you are injured, go to a doctor or an emergency room and report what happened to you. Ask that they
document your visit.
• Keep a journal of all violent incidences, noting dates, events and threats made.
• Keep any evidence of physical abuse, such as pictures.
• Plan with your children and identify a safe place for them. Reassure them that their job is to stay safe, not to
protect you.
• If you need to sneak away, be prepared. Make a plan for how and where you will escape.
• Back your car into the driveway, and keep it fueled. Keep your driver's door unlocked and other doors locked for
a quick escape.
• Hide an extra set of car keys.
• Set money aside. Ask friends or family members to hold money for you.
• Pack a bag. Include an extra set of keys, IDs, car title, birth certificates, social security cards, credit cards,
marriage license, clothes for yourself and your children, shoes, medications, banking information, money — anything
that is important to you. Store them at a trusted friend or neighbor's house. Try to avoid using the homes of next-door
neighbors, close family members and mutual friends.
• Take important phone numbers of friends, relatives, doctors, schools, etc.
• If time is available, also take:
Citizenship documents (such as your passport, green card, etc.)
Titles, deeds and other property information
Medical records
Children's school and immunization records
Insurance information
Verification of social security numbers
Welfare identification
Valued pictures, jewelry or personal possessions
• Know abuser's schedule and safe times to leave.
• Be careful when reaching out for help via Internet or telephone. Erase your Internet browsing history, websites
visited for resouces, e-mails sent to friends/family asking for help. If you called for help, dial another number
immediately after in case abuser hits redial.
• Create a false trail. Call motels, real estate agencies and schools in a town at least six hours away from where
you plan to relocate.
After Leaving the Abusive Relationship
If you get a restraining order, and the offender is leaving:
• Change your locks and phone number.
• Change your work hours and route taken to work.
• Change the route taken to transport children to school.
• Keep a certified copy of your restraining order with you at all times.
• Inform friends, neighbors and employers that you have a restraining order in effect.
• Give copies of the restraining order to employers, neighbors and schools along with a picture of the offender.
• Call law enforcement to enforce the order.
If you leave:
• Consider renting a post office box or using the address of a friend for your mail. Be aware that addresses are on
restraining orders and police reports. Be careful to whom you give your new address and phone number.
• Change your work hours, if possible.
• Alert school authorities of the situation.
• Consider changing your children's schools.
• Reschedule appointments if the offender is aware of them.
• Use different stores and frequent different social spots.
• Alert neighbors, and request that they call the police if they feel you may be in danger.
• Talk to trusted people about the violence.
• Replace wooden doors with steel or metal doors. Install security systems if possible. Install a motion sensitive
lighting system.
• Tell people you work with about the situation and have your calls screened by one receptionist if possible.
• Tell people who take care of your children who can pick up your children. Explain your situation to them and
provide them with a copy of the restraining order.
• Call the telephone company to request caller ID. Ask that your phone number be blocked so that if you call
anyone, neither your partner nor anyone else will be able to get your new, unlisted phone number.
For more tips on staying safe, click here!
For more information, please visit the Web site for the National Domestic Violence Hotline. If you or someone you know
is frightened about something in your relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-
SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.
The most violent time in an abusive relationship is the minute the woman leaves, or tries to leave. In fact, in domestic
violence cases, more than 70 percent of injuries and murders happen after the victim leaves. This phenomenon is
known as separation assault. After following the Exit Action Plan for how to leave an abusive relationship safely, know
the plan for staying safe!
Sue Else, president of the National Network to End Domestic Violence, offers steps for staying safe after
leaving an abusive relationship:
Consider going to a shelter
Domestic violence shelters are available to provide safety and to help you get on your feet. In addition to safety, they
provide services, support and resources for you and your children.
Secure your new home
Consider new window and door locks, outdoor lights, an alarm system, steel doors and smoke detectors.
Don’t move to a secluded area
Move to a neighborhood with lots of neighbors, perhaps an apartment complex, with a Neighborhood Watch program.
Keep new address confidential
Get a P.O. Box, and don’t give out your real address. Try to rent a home that has utilities included, sign up for an
Address Confidentiality Program through your state government, and make sure your voter registration doesn’t have
your address.
Stay off social networking websites
You don’t want information about who you're friends with and what you're doing public. You don’t know who could be
friends with your ex.
Obtain a protection order
Keep a copy on you at all times. Give copies to family, friends, co-workers and your children’s school.
Change your patterns
Shop at new stores, take different routes to work, change coffee shops and gas stations, go to a faith service at a
different time, switch to a new bank.
Secure your accounts
Change your passwords, PIN codes, and call utility companies and ask them to add a password that only you know to
your account.
Get a new computer
Spyware could be on your old computer, allowing the abuser to know everything you do on the computer and read all of
your e-mail.
Get a new cell phone and number
Verizon HopeLine donates phones to victims through local shelters.
Protect yourself at work
Alert your supervisor and the security staff, remove your number from the office directory, and even change office
locations. Ask security to walk you to your car.
Safety plan with your children
Teach children what to do if the abuser kidnaps them or breaks into the house. You don't want to scare your children,
but help them be prepared. Alert the school or daycare of the danger.
Don’t isolate yourself
Don’t park your car in large parking garages, jog at night or in secluded areas. Park as close to the location as possible.
Document everything
Keep records of all texts, e-mails, stalking and harassment. Keep video or written journal — and hide it!
Keep loved ones informed
Always tell a trusted person where you are going, EVERY DAY. Have check-in times so loved ones always know you
are safe.
Be prepared
Have 911 ready to call when you are walking to your car. Be aware of your environment; if something feels out of the
ordinary, IT IS!
Have a bag packed
Include an extra set of keys, identification, car title, birth certificate, social security, clothes for you and your children,
shoes, money, jewelry — anything important to you.
If you fear your relationship could take a violent turn, consider these warning signs:
• History of past battering
• Threats of violence
• Breaking objects
• Use of force during arguments
• Unreasonable jealousy
• Controlling behavior
• Quick involvement in the relationship
• Verbal abuse, blaming others for problems
• Cruelty to children and animals
• Abrupt mood changes
From the moment singer Chris Brown allegedly beat his girlfriend Rihanna on the eve of the Grammy Awards, America
has been shocked and polarized by the story. How could Chris do that? And how could Rihanna even think about going
back to him after what appeared to be such a brutal beating? With the help of best-selling author Bishop T.D. Jakes,
Dr. Phil offers up some straight talk about domestic violence.
Dr. Phil says, “The anatomy of an abusive relationship is really very simple. There's a cycle of violence that takes
place."
The cycle has three stages:
• Tension Building Stage
• Acute Battering Stage
• Honeymoon Stage
Dr. Phil says of the honeymoon stage, "This is where, 'Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I will never do this again. I hate that
this happened. I'll make it up to you. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry,' but then the cycle starts over again."
He notes that nearly half of abusers re-offend, most within the first six months. "And then you've got what's called
traumatic bonding, and it's because there's an imbalance of power, and there's an intermittent reinforcement schedule.
You never know whether you're going to get hugged or hit. And so psychologically that's a very strong tendency to stay
involved in that relationship," says Dr. Phil.